Why

Why
-Tyson B. Troxel
January 2011


Sitting here
All alone
In the dark
Wondering
WHY?
Why does it have to be this way?
And
Why?
Do I have to feel
This Way?

Why?
Do I have to smile
And be so positive
And live the good life
And
Why?
When inside I am hurting
I wanna give it up
Give it all away
And
Why?
Do you love me so.

Tears are coming down my face
My hand won’t stop shaking
I just want to jump
End it all
And
Why?
Do you hold out your hands
And call my name
Telling me you love me so
I am precious to you
And
Why?
Do I just want
You holding me
Loving me.

I am a good man
Loved by many
Adored by some
A life worth living
And
Why?
Does it hurt so damn bad
When I hear you calling
Tears in your eyes
And
Why?
Do you love me so?

My demons haunt me so.
Alcoholism
Depression
Loneliness
Cigarettes
Depression
And
Why?
Do you even accept me
For me
All my flaws
Good and bad
And
Why?
Do you laugh at me so.

Standing on the ledge
Ready to jump
To end it all
And
Why?
Won’t he bother
Why won’t she just call
Where are they?
My so called friends.
And
Why?
Are you standing up here
On the ledge next to me
Holding out your hand
Tears in your eyes
And
Why?
Do I matter so much to you?

A shaft of light shines down
And I am running
Jumping
Crying
About to end it all
Ready to die
And
Why?
Is it
Your arms
That I am running
Jumping
Falling into
And
Why?
Do you cling tightly to me?

I am waking
To a sunny day
And I am smiling
Knowing you are all that matters
And
That you love me
And
Why?
Is that good enough
Just you and me
You carrying me
Wiping my tears away
Comforting me
And
Why?
Am I Complete
In You?